Things I Won’t Do Before I Die

lit cigarette

I wrote recently about the things I definitely want to do before I die, so it only make sense to write the opposite. This was a really fun one to think about—a list of things I intend never to do before I die!

Swim with sharks – I know this probably seems random. I wrote recently about how I want to visit South Africa, and diving with sharks is actually a really big thing there. My husband really wants to do it, but it scares the crap out of me. No. Nope. No.

Have plants – Every green thing I’ve ever tried to grow in my entire life has died. In elementary school when all the kids tried to grow beans in a plastic bag with a wet paper towel, mine was the only one that didn’t sprout. When I got a plant for my first office – died. When I tried to start an herb garden in my backyard – dead. I think it’s finally time to accept my black thumb and move on with life.

Run a marathon – I try to go to the gym regularly, but I’m not really what you’d call a fitness fiend. I’ve also never gotten into running. More than both of those, though, I’ve watched my husband train for and run THREE marathons. That stuff is not for the faint of heart. It’s really a commitment. And it hurts. Do you know the story of Marathon? The guy dropped dead at the end.

Smoke – I’ve smoked a combined total of about three packs of cigarettes in my life, mostly to fit in at different times in high school and college. The stuff has never really appealed to me, and my grandfather died of lung cancer, so I’m quite certain smoking isn’t for me.

Eat spinach – When I was little, my mom would make me sit at the table until I ate all my spinach. I don’t know how long I sat there, but it felt like forever. Even when I told her it was bitter and had sand in it (which it did), I still had to sit there. It may sound odd, but now I have a permanent aversion to spinach.

Become a beer drinker – This one probably seems a bit weird. I love wine and spirits, and cider is my jam, but I’ve never been able to get into beer. I’ve tried everything from radlers to IPAs to stouts, and clearly something in my taste buds does not want me to be a beer drinker. I really wish I could get beyond it because it can actually be a bit awkward socially, but it’s just never going to be my thing.